Hopefully, this can put into perspective what having an autoimmune disease is like for those lucky people in the population without one…
- Stubbing your toe. Repeatedly.
- Watching that one annoying episode of that show you hate over and over again. I’m looking at you, every episode of Friends that includes Emily.
- When the oil light comes on in your car. I JUST FIXED THIS.
- That taste when you think oatmeal raisin cookies are chocolate chip cookies and then take a bite. There’s a special place in hell for people who make oatmeal raisin cookies and don’t label them.
- The sudden need to use the restroom when you’re stopped in traffic. On a bridge. In the middle of nowhere. In broad daylight. I’d rather not talk about it.
- Accidentally slamming your hip into the side of a countertop. This also compares to the feeling of being shot.
- Waking up before your alarm and getting excited thinking you have time to sleep, but then realizing it’s only four minutes away from going off. Commence wondering why the world is such a heinous place.
- Making eye contact with your pet, beckoning it over to you, and watching as it turns around and walks the other way. Why do you not lick the hand that feeds you?
- When your autocorrect freaks out your crush because your cool and breezy “haha” corrected to an aggressive “HAHAHA.” “Oh sorry, autocorrect!! I didn’t mean for that to be in caps HAHAHA”
- Settling in to watch your favorite movie/TV show and then discovering that Netflix took it down. I know I wasn’t the only one who watched Desperate Housewives.
- Spilling everywhere and not being able to find paper towels, napkins, or dish towels. *panic ensues*
- When you have a great addition to the conversation but by the time you get your chance to speak, you forget what you were going to say. Nods along politely.
- Using your phone all day and wasting the battery because you brought your portable charger. Then noticing your portable charger is dead. Every, single, time.
- Opening your takeout bag after you get home and realizing the restaurant gave you the wrong order. As your friend so helpfully asks, “Well why didn’t you check it before you left the restaurant?”
- Being left on hold for seemingly hours and then the call drops as soon as the person on the other line says, “Sorry for the wait, how may we help you?”
- Helplessly watching your friends enjoy a car singalong to a song you don’t know. *starts to move lips to pretend like you know it*
- Stabbing yourself in the eye with your mascara brush. Then your eye starts watering and smudges your flawless eye liner.
- Just feeling down for no reason. But that’s okay to feel. Because you’re human and you will have a good day soon. You’re allowed to have bad days.
Chronically KMads 